Movie Reviews 337 – Witchfinder General (1968)

March 23, 2018

Back in the day the name of Vincent Price was synonymous with horror cinema. His 200 plus acting resume was filled with performances in many horror staples including The Fly, House of Wax, The Tingler, House on Haunted Hill, The Abominable Dr. Phibes, Theater of Blood, and those only touch the surface as he had an illustrious career in mainstream films. His roles oscillated between being the protagonist and the antagonist, interchangeable in the sense that he was equally adept in either capacity. But one film often left out when reciting those better known horror films is Witchfinder General, ironically the one in which I find he is at his detestable best (a good thing in horror). But perhaps this performance transpired as it did for other reasons.

Titled as The Conqueror Worm in the US, the film is set during the 1645 civil unrest in which lawyer Matthew Hopkins (Price) is appointed as ‘witch finder’ a duty he fulfills wandering the British countryside from one town to the next accompanied by his trusty torturer Stearn (Robert Russell) who all too happily does most of the dirty work. Needless to say the goal is not so much to save anyone from the evils of Satan as it is to put down political foes or just a pretense to collect a few guineas.

After demonstrating some quick marksmanship that saves the life of his unit commander, cavalryman Richard (Ian Ogilvy) is granted a few days of leave and takes the opportunity to visit his beloved Sara (Hilary Dwyer) who lives with her priest uncle (Rupert Davies). The priest urges Richard to marry Sara as soon as possible but only on the promise that he will take his niece and leave the village, only hinting at troubles brewing. But almost as soon as Richard returns to his unit he learns that the uncle has been taken in by the witchfinder. Against orders he returns to the village but not before Sara herself is imprisoned and Richard must save her from the horrific fate that awaits all those accused by the witchfinder.

While not as resplendent in blood as Hammer Studios and American International Pictures (AIP did provide some funding for this film) gothic horrors of the era, the gory scenes are fairly graphic. The allure of the film lies with the richness in character and the clear distinction of good versus evil. The sorcery perspective is well captured with such scenes as a cleric appealing for repentance from a woman being dragged to her death with the opportune witchcraft references like brimstone and burning flesh read aloud by a vicar. What makes the film truly terrifying is wrapping your head on how mere accusations could result in one’s demise. What comes off as comic in one of Monty Python’s troupes best sketches (“She’s a witch!”), is eerily prescient here with dead seriousness despite the equally insane faulty logic we see the witchfinder using to ‘test’ those accused. And there are plenty such trials and extractions of false confessions with all manor of deadly sentences.

A cult favorite today, one of the reasons Price may have been so effective in this film portraying the ruthless, conniving Matthew (based on the real life character) was that the director never wanted Price for the role and made no secret of the fact throughout filming which rankled the otherwise humble Price. This acrimony seems to have translated into Price’s deadpan performance which was perfect for the role.

If the Salem witch trials were your idea of Satanic eradication, they have nothing when compared to The Witchfinder General.


Movie Reviews 336 – Vamp (1986)

March 16, 2018

Nothing could be more emblematic of a 1980’s horror movie than including including disco diva Grace Jones in the ensemble, which is exactly what the producers of Vamp did. The danger in injecting a celebrity in the credits is that they may not have the acting talent to carry a leading role and thus destroy an otherwise fine movie. Thankfully the producers here were wise enough to capitalize on Jones’ aptitudes (aside from her vocal chops as a singer), namely her eye-popping flash and daring style, and leave the heavy lifting to more seasoned (if younger) folks.

Tired of their sleazy and dimwitted fraternity brethren, AJ (Robert Rusler) and Keith (Chris Makepeace) decide to try out for another frat run by the more refined and richer boys. But when the initiation – a very cool mock satanic ritual – goes horribly wrong, AJ makes a deal with the new frat leaders to secure their induction. He promises to deliver a stripper to the frat party to be held later that night.

But what would normally be a simple enough task in any large city is no mean feat for these boys whose school is at least a two hour drive from the nearest city to supply this particular need. A two hour drive that seems impossible given that they don’t even have a car. So to get a set of wheels they grudgingly befriend Duncan (Gedde Watanabe), the one rich kid who runs a clandestine on-campus rental empire.

The trio make their way to the city and land in the After Dark strip club, which happens to be run by a coven of vampires led by none other than the centerpiece, sensuous dancer Katrina (Jones). Keith also encounters “Amaretto” (Dedee Pfeiffer) a childhood friend working at the club who has no idea of the true nature of the club which is to identify patrons that are alone and who would not raise eyebrows if they suddenly disappeared as blood donors. But due to a misunderstanding AJ falls prey to Katrina’s summons and now Keith has to try to save himself and his friend from the vamps while also eluding a street gang led by an albino (Billy Drago) whose paths they crossed earlier in the evening.

While this is no Lost Boys it’s still a great corny but entertaining retro romp. While some of the stars don’t shine as much as they should, some of the charm comes from the smaller roles such as Vic (Sandy Baron) the club’s emcee who just wants to go to Vegas or the pathetically friendless Duncan who is blinded by the flood of sexy girls surrounding him to the point of being oblivious to the fanged threat they pose. If nothing else enjoy diva Jone’s many costumes including a coiled copper wired number more befitting telephone exchange office.

Movie Reviews 335 – The Beastmaster (1982)

March 9, 2018

I recently lent my DVD of The Beastmaster to a friend – one of many movies I own but haven’t gotten around to viewing myself – and upon return I happened to notice two things on the cover that caught my eye. The first was that this was directed by Don Coscarelli, the man responsible for the Phantasm series of movies. The second was that John Amos had a role. Both surprising to me because as far as I knew this was just some cheap ripoff trying to cash in on the success of Conan the Barbarian which was released earlier the same year. I began to wonder if this film had a bit more substance than I thought and this hope was bolstered by a vague recollection that there was a TV series spinoff at one point.

The concept behind this pre-biblical fantasy centers around a prophesied unborn child of a king that will thwart the attempt of a sorcerer Maax (Rip Torn) to take over the realm. Exiled by the king, Maax sends one of his sultry bodied Stygian witches to transfer the unborn child from the womb of his sleeping mother into the belly of cow. The transference complete, the witch later begins the ritual to extract the baby from the cow when a wanderer comes across and inadvertently interferes, but rescuing the baby at the same time.

Adopted by the wander, the young Dar, now part of the family has a normal childhood but he is taught how to fight by his adoptive father, and it is during those sessions that the young lad exhibits an arcane ability to interact with all manner of beast, an ability that his father counsels him to keep himself. The father does this without telling the boy of his unnatural beginnings a reminder of which is a scarred symbol on Dar’s hand.

As the boy grows up to be a virile man (Marc Singer), his hard working daily farming duties are shattered one day as his village is pillaged and destroyed by a band of roving warriors, the Jun, led by none other than the exiled sorcerer Maxx. On his own now, he adopts a wild black panther (a ridiculously evident dyed tiger) and an eagle, both pets and animals which he can see the world through their eyes. Upon encountering a beautiful slave (Tanya Roberts) he sets out to rescue her with the help of a pastoral  (John Amos) only to find that once again, Maax is at the root of the evil.

As much as I fully expected a cringing, bottom barrel, bargain-basement counterfeit Conan, I have to admit that this was entertaining from beginning to end. While Singer is no muscle monstrosity compared to Schwarzenegger in the day, he was no slouch either the athletic department and of course was not as tongue tied as old Arnie. Roberts was both a feast on the eyes and more than a fair maiden worthy of rescue. Ironically it was Amos’ role that was pared down from my expectations. Dyed tiger aside, there was plenty of cool visuals and some unique surprises like the appearance of mouthless, bat winged humanoids to complement a fair fable.

Almost as interesting as the film itself was the hour long documentary “Saga of the Beastmaster” as an extra feature on my Anchor Bay DVD. One of the most interesting things I learned was that Coscarelli made this movie based on his childhood love of an Andre Norton novel of the same name. While not particularly a great fan of the famed author of the  Witch World series myself, I did check to see if this was one of her books I had sitting somewhere on my shelves as it peaked my interest in reading it. (Sadly I did not have the book). Just about every aspect of the production was discussed including the hardships encountered during filming, particularly the cold temperatures they had while filming people running around in not much more (and sometimes less) than loincloths. I also learned that there were a number of sequels, all staring Singer, that were made in the years following this movie. But quick check in IMDB indicates that these were far inferior and not worth me trying to seek these out. Too bad.

Movie Reviews 334 – Manhattan Baby (1982)

March 2, 2018

Iconic horror director Lucio Fulci’s Manhattan Baby begins in a location as far away as one can imagine from the titular metropolis. While professor of archeology George Hacker (Christopher Connelly) investigates some digs in Egypt, his wife Emily (Laura Lenzi) and daughter Susie (Brigitta Boccoli) take in the tourist views of an old city. As he and an aide venture alone into the booby trapped maze of a remote pyramid he stumbles upon a curious ancient hieroglyph resembling an eye. Suddenly an aperture in the pattern shoots laser beams into his eyes immediately blinding him, and far away, at that very same moment a glassy eyed, blind beggar hands his daughter an amulet bearing the very same pattern.

Upon the family’s return to New York city, Susie exhibits increasingly erratic behavior as George slowly heals from his temporary blindness. She not only manifests physical ailments, but increasingly demonstrates other powers. Powers that culminate in her creating a nexus to another dimension within a room in the house. As her health declines and with her parents becoming desperate for answers, they receive mysterious hints urging them to visit an antique shop run by one Adrian Mercato (Cosimo Cinieri) who is well aware of the powers of Susie’s amulet.

With more snakes and scorpions than you can find in an exotic pet shop this horror oddity was clearly made to capitalize on the success of The Exorcist with many parallel if not overtly copied scenes. This is backed up by interviews in the Special Features of my Anchor Bay DVD where Fulci admits as much and also explaining the odd title as an attempt to gain audience share by riding the coattails of Rosemary’s Baby. Fulci’s vision was to create a technological based evil entity, hence explaining the use of lasers. But that emphasis on technology is what falters here, more so given how those effects now look silly from a technical point of view as much plot silliness.

But when you dispense those few ‘technology’ inspired scenes the movie, not Fulci’s best to be sure, has enough legs to creep us out. The flim does get better with Susie and her brother Tommy (Giovanni Frezza – he’s also the young boy in Fulci’s House by the Cemetery) and their nanny making trips to the sand dune dimension, and gathers more momentum with the introduction of Mercato trying to help all culminating in an avian attack that would make Alfred Hitchcock proud.

Movie Reviews 333 – 7 Faces of Dr. Lao (1964)

February 23, 2018

I’ve watched all kinds of bizarre and uncategorizable movies over the years but the one that always stuck out first for me was 7 Faces of Dr. Lao. Is it a western? A fantasy? A comedy? A fable? It’s all of these and more.

The movie begins with the elder chinaman Dr. Lao (Tony Randall) riding on a golden donkey who flicks his thumb to produce a flame that he then uses to light his yandaiguo pipe as a precariously balanced fishbowl rests on the saddle front. Dr. Lao, owner and operator of a travelling circus, has ridden in from the dusty great plains and enters the old western town of Abalone. His first stop is the local news printshop where he wants some of his circus event posters to be printed. As he awaits being served he overhears the first rumblings of trouble in the town as the newspaper owner/editor/writer Ed Cunningham (John Ericson) is visibly angered by a visit from Clint Stark (Arthur O’Connell) who chides the editor for some negative press he has been writing. The local business man Stark has buying up all the houses and real estate that he can lay his hands on while having the mayor in his pocket. Cunningham fears for the towns future although is isn’t quite sure what game Stark is really playing. And while Cunningham seems to be the only one who wants to hold the town together, the only person that seems to have the same mindset is Angela the lovely, widowed town librarian (Barbara Eden) who is cold to Cunningham’s advances.

The movie plays out as a sequence of scenes played out in the confines of the tent circus. The stars are Dr. Lao’s menagerie of mythical figures and creatures including the Abominable snowman, Merlin the magician from King Arthur’s court, three ancient Greek figures; Pan (god of love), Medusa the Gorgon who turns all who look at her into stone and blind fortune teller Apollonius of Tyana, and finally a slithering, talking serpent (whose face looks exactly like Stark).  Most of these play out scenes with the cast of human characters, digging deeper into their real issues and problems. Angela for example loses her inhibitions after being mentally aroused when she stumbles upon Pan, while the root of Stark’s greed is deconstructed by the serpent. Viewers will be quick to note that all of Dr. Lao’s charges are in fact played by Randall which was quite a formidable feat for the actor.

Unsurprisingly, this movie was directed by George Pal best known for his special effects laden classics of the era that include The War of the Worlds, Destination Moon and The Time Machine. Also notable is that Charles Beaumont was the writer, a man very familiar with the bizarre as a Twilight Zone regular. Alas, this is one of those movies in which my memories were better than my recent viewing experience. Most of the special effects are still fine but the overall story and the delivery now suffer a bit with my more mature adult assessment. But the movie is really a comedy which excuses the candy coated ending. Still a fun watch even if only for the the special effects and gags.

Movie Reviews 332 – Saturday Night Fever (1977)

February 16, 2018

This is as much a confessional as it is a movie review. Why? Because until this week I had never seen Saturday Night Fever before. Most of my readers would think “So what?”, correctly assuming that the majority of films I review here are new to me. So why is the fact I have never seen this particular film in the 40 years since it’s release such a big deal?

The answer lies in part based on my ‘hood’, high school and heritage. The disco mania of the era was a global phenomenon to be sure, but nowhere was it embraced as energetically as within adolescent Italian circles.Growing up Italian – well half Italian to be precise – in a predominantly Italian neighborhood and attending a Catholic high school where about 95 percent of the students were Italians, it was a given that I had seen this film. In this sphere it was considered sacrilegious not to and I suspect a shock to some of my friends from that era who may be reading this now and discovering I had fallen in this regard. That is not to say there was not a staunch rocker, anti-disco clique as well, but they were certainly in the minority. How Italian was John F. Kennedy Comprehensive High School in Montreal in the late 70’s? This was a milieu where you couldn’t throw a rock and not hit a Tony or Maria. (For the record, there were twenty guys named Tony and twenty girls named Maria in my graduating year alone. Trust me, I counted them all in my yearbook.) And being what it was, the vast majority of those students lived and breathed the disco lifestyle – and quite honestly, many of them still do. These kids went to see this movie over and over at the theater, some perhaps a dozen times. My brother was a DJ and his copy of the vinyl LP soundtrack to this film had to be replaced more than once due to the sheer number of ‘spins’ these tracks got. The clothing, hairstyles,  the Italian horn and ‘cornuto’ gold pendants and even those ‘pointer’ shoes all the guys wore reflected that mirror-balled, vainglorious lifestyle.

I’ll be honest that in stating I’m not even sure why I drew the line watching this movie when surrounded by so many devotees. Given what little I knew of the movie one of the reasons I avoid it was that I assumed it would have little or no substance. But I have to admit I was wrong in that particular regard.

Ostensibly the story is about Tony Manero (John Travolta), a young man living under the shadow of his pious priest brother while working a menial job at a hardware store by day. When not begging for salary advances at work he gets hounded at home by his parents for his lack of ambition. His salvation presents itself at night on the dance floor of his local discotheque where his lithe feet and his good looks reward him with women swooning over his every step. Vain and self centered at first, Tony begins to question his friends, values and future. While a lot of this is fluff delivered in a Brooklynese accent as thick as my mother’s spaghetti sauce – and with the exception of the lead, some fairly cringe worthy acting skills – there is more going on here under the surface. The story is buttressed with episodes of unrequited love, parental expectations, responsibilities of adulthood, unplanned parenthood, turf wars and just a smattering of religion.

But the true charm of watching this movie today is the nostalgic time-trip it delivers. Amidst the retro Farrah Fawcett and Rocky posters is a fun look back at what I can only describe as an ‘interesting’ time period for which some attitudes and priorities still perplex me. The music, obviously a large part of this feature and primarily delivered by the Bee Gees, is memorable and even still catchy (at times) after all these years and despite not being my choice of genres.

A few last observations about this movie worth noting. First, you may want to look for a brief appearance of Fran “The Nanny” Drescher in some of the scenes. And lastly, I have to ask: Why was there a strip bar within the discotheque? Because that’s not how I remember them at all. Had I known, perhaps I would not have waited forty years to watch the damn movie.

Movie Reviews 331 – The Shaft (2001)

February 9, 2018

I didn’t think much of The Shaft other than the standout name of Naomi Watts as one of the stars listed on my DVD cover. But as I dug into the film there was what seemed like a constant barrage of cult favorite actors that kept appearing and giving me hope (Ron Perlman, Michael Ironside, and Dan Hedaya) that things would pick up.

The plot centers on the fictitious Millenium building (more on that name later), a beautiful Art Deco high-rise that is really a stand-in for the Empire State building, in which the elevator system becomes a deathtrap and seems to have a will of its own. But maintenance worker Mark Newman (James Marshall, better known as the dimwitted private in A Few Good Men)

is wary of the elevators and isn’t convinced that the recent spate of injuries and deaths are accidental at all and at the prodding of an ambitious tabloid journalist (Watts) investigates the events.

The explanation lies with a former military scientist (Ironside) who once dabbled in dolphin based organic computer chips and has managed to convince the elevator company executive (Perman) to secretly adopt the technology in the elevators for this particular building which will some day inexplicably make them millions. As corny as the plot sounds, the execution adds even many more head scratching moments, unclear scenes and nonsensical dialogue exchanges.

The film does deliver on some fairly gruesome and cringe inducing kill scenes, but not enough to make it worth our while to sit through the rest of the infantile proceedings despite the notable cast. But where the intended drama fails the movie manages to achieve some level of unintentional spookiness because of the subject matter, the city, the role of the building, some fortuitous dialogue, and the very specific year in which it was made. You see this was made in 2001 just before the tragic events of 9/11. As it would happen, the film cityscapes includes many prominent views of the twin World Trade Center towers (not especially surprising in itself) but also remarks on terrorism and even specifically mentions Osama Bin Laden’s prior failed attempt on the WTC years earlier. The choice of naming this fictitious building Millenium adds just that much more creepiness and makes it almost uncomfortably prescient. Another irony and ominous portent of things to is that the original title of the film was simply: Down, which could apply to the building as well as just an elevator.

Conspiracy theories and eerie prophecies aside, the end credits could not come soon enough and I got more entertainment value listening to Aerosmith’s Love in an Elevator during those credits than from the movie itself. Now if you really want to enjoy horrific elevator films, then I recommend two, both titled “Elevator”, one from 2008 and the other from 2011.

Watching this movie, I felt myself subjected to the title itself. Getting “The Shaft” that is.

Where is Richard Roundtree when you need him?

January Movie Marathon – 2018 Edition

February 1, 2018

My January 31 film Marathon (2018 edition)

After a particularly film filled January two years ago when I noticed that I somehow managed to watch 31 films in the 31 days of Januar. Since then it’s become something of an annual tradition for me to try to step up to the same challenge. Knowing that I was going to be out of town for both the first three days and the last four days of the month and not being able to watch even one film those 7 days, I didn’t think my odds were going to be good for a repeat this year. It meant I would have to watch 31 films in a mere 24 days. But I doubled my efforts with a slim hope that I could somehow pull it off. And pull it off I did, not only managing to watch them, but managing to watch an extra movie for good measure and all done by the 27th of January.

And these were the random eclectic picks fom my shelves with one being a current theatrical release I saw at an actual theatre:

  1. Irma La Douce (1963) –  Director Billy Wilder reunited his cast of Jack Lemmon and Shirley Maclaine from The Apartment made three years earlier. Nearly as funny and just as touching, this one has goody two shoes Lemmon falling for street walker MacLaine.
  2. Black Christmas (2006) – Not nearly as good as the original Canadian classic, but not nearly as bad as I thought it would be either. Adds a bit more to the lore of “Billy”.
  3. The Runaways (2010) – Biopic of the rock band that included Joan Jett and Cherie Currie as they rose to fame, and just as quickly crashed and burned before Jett had a second resurgence. Interesting movie but could have been better with some tighter editing.
  4. Heavenly Creatures (1994) – Two rural teenage girls, living in a world of their own end up killing the mother of one when they face being separated. Early Peter Jackson film which recounts the brutal 1954 New Zealand murder case.
  5. My Amityville Horror (2012) – Documentary which chronicles Daniel Lutz’s (the son living in the infamous Amityville home) account of the controversial alleged events. While there are a few interesting pieces of information, it does little to validate supernatural claims.
  6. The Man Who Would Be King (1975) – Director Walter Huston’s interpretation of the Rudyard Kipling story. With Michael Caine and Sean Connery in the lead roles entertainment (and madness) is assured.
  7. Kung Phooey! (2003) – Low budget comedy that successfully hits every chinese stereotype joke imaginable. A good ribbing at a clash of cultures, that would probably not pass the PC threshold today. Good on all those who participated in this and dared to be funny while laughing at themselves.
  8. Hang ‘Em High (1968) – Clint Eastwood western where an overzealous gang of vigilantes try to hang him thinking he’s a cattle rustler. When he’s proven innocent he’s also hired as a marshall and then starts to round those that tried to kill him. Not his best western by far but it’s still Clint.
  9. War for the Planet of the Apes (2017) – The fact that it’s a Planet of the Apes movie should be enough. For those living under a rock this is the final of the trilogy that began with Rise and Dawn.
  10. The Tenant (1976) – Roman Polanski thriller about a man who rents an apartment where the former dweller committed suicide and the becomes subsumed in her previous life. Full review here.
  11. Grimm Love (2006) –  This film explores the real life German case of the Rotenburg Cannibal in which a man searched for and found another man willing to be eaten alive. Not the low budget film I thought it was although it was needlessly told as flashbacks from the point of view of a psychologist trying to delve into the case.
  12. The Shape of Water (2017) – Guillermo del Toro’s latest fantasy and while our eyes are meant to embrace his personal take on a “Creature from the Black Lagoon” it’s  Sally Hawkins that steals the show and Michael Shannon that is the beast.  13 Oscar nominations. Nuff said!
  13. Feed (2005) – A look at the phenomena of men feeding women to the point of mortal morbid obesity. Australian cop scouring the internet for sexual predators comes across disturbing video and then does his own followup to find the man behind it all. Both interesting and disturbing.
  14. White Heat (1949) – One of James Cagney’s best as as a psychopathic gangster who will stop at nothing and where he utter the classic final line “Look Ma. I’m on top of the world”. And he certainly was.
  15. Full Metal Yakuza (1997) – Early display of madness by director Takashi Miike. Full review here.
  16. Reeker (2005) –  A group travelling across the desert to get to a rave end up stranded and accosted by a ‘reeking’ mystical creature. Full of holes in logic and plot points but what was even worse was the kludged ending that tries to explain what really happened. Even Michael Ironside could not save this one.
  17. 28 Days Later (2002) – One of the earlier zombie films that spurned the craze at the start of the millenium and certainly one of the better ones out there. Despite denials to the contrary, this is where Robert Kirkman stole the idea of a man waking up in a hospital to find out there was a zombie outbreak while he was out cold.
  18. 28 Weeks Later (2007) – The aftermath of the apocalypse in 28 Days Later in which humanity believes it is OK to resettle London. Not nearly as good as 28 Days Later but certainly different.
  19. The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004) – Bill Murray seems to enjoy being in Wes Anderson movies but perhaps he should have skipped this one. Lots of decent jokes in a facsimile of a Jacques Courteau character passed his prime, but a lot of luls as well.
  20. Payback (1999) – Decent Mel Gibson thriller about a small time con taking on the underworld to get back  the 72 grand he feels they owe him. If the long list implausible events are bothersome they will be made up by Lucy Liu as the sadomasochist hooker.
  21. Hannah and her Sisters (1986) – Although highly lauded this is far from Woody Allen’s best films.  Full of neurotic, paranoid, doubting, cheating, conniving, morose, and brooding characters. Everything you would expect from Allen but without many actual laughs.
  22. Once Upon a Time in Mexico (2003) – Director Robert Rodriguez rounded up the Who’s Who of Mexican actors (Antonio Banderas, Salma Hayek, Danny Trejo, Cheech Marin, Ruben Blades, Eva Mendes) and then added Johnny Depp, Mickey Rourke and Willem Dafoe to complete his Mariachi trilogy. But I prefer his simpler, lower budget but more charming {El Mariachi}.
  23. Tarzan and the Green Goddess (1938) – This very old Tarzan film with Bruce Bennett in the starring role really had a low budget and sketchy production values. Not surprised to later learn this was a cropped together from a serial. The only thing mildly interesting was Tarzan fighting animals.
  24. Easy “A” (2010) Being about a highschool girl who leverages a rumor about her virtue to gain social status you’d think this was a brainless comedy. But this is way better and deeper than it sounds. Emma Stone’s first starring feature.
  25. The Breakfast Club (1985) A reference about this movie in Easy “A” above was enough for me to plunk in my disc. I don’t need much to remind me to rewatch this brat pack classic. I could watch it again right now.
  26. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986) Full review here.
  27. The Iceman (2012) Chilling biopic of real life convicted hitman Richard Kuklinski. Winona Ryder plays his unsuspecting wife, but star Michael Shannon shines as the tormented killer. My second Michael Shannon movie this month and I can’t understand why I’ve never heard of him before.
  28. Moscow on the Hudson (1984) Robin Williams plays a Russian musician who defects when visiting New York city with a circus troupe. His earliest role where he is more serious than just a comic, and honestly that was what he did best. Slightly dated but worth a rewatch.
  29. Run Silent, Run Deep (1958) The unlikely teamup of Clark Gable and Burt Lancaster as officers in a WWII submarine bent on taking on a ship in the particular deadly Japanese “Bunjo” strait works largely because of director Robert Wise.
  30. 13: Game of Death (2006) A Horror from Thailand of all places that is actually pretty cool if you disregard the lame ending. A hapless, down on his luck musical instrument salesman is led on a game in which each successful harder challenge puts more money in his bank.
  31. Four Rooms (1995) This is a film with four distinct stories taking place in a Hollywood hotel glued together by the bellhop who figures in each story. Four directors directed the segments including one from Quentin Tarantino and one from his bud Robert Rodriguez. Both have thankfully done a lot better.
  32. The Rat Pack (1998) I watched a Brat Pack movie so why not finish off with a movie about the Rat Pack that inspired the name? An all-star cast tells their story but it wasn’t the fluffy glitter extravaganza I expected. This one actually deals with the deeper issues like race, politics and the men behind the facade.



Movie Reviews 330 – The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)

January 26, 2018

Tobe Hooper really raised the bar when he directed the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre which arguably is one of the best horror movies ever produced. The introduction of the dysfunctional family of cannibals rewrote the book on horror movies and became an instant classic.

Being one of his first movies Hooper went on to have a decent run of genre movies during the following years but never eclipsed TCM. I don’t know what motivated him to do this follow up, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, a dozen years after the first but one thing that is clear is that he did not just go back to familiar ground despite this story being presented as events and characters that supposedly follow the original TCM but takes place a number of years after.

Gone was the profound darkness and drama, biting edge horror and human depravity. And in came the … comedy?

The family, now identified as the Sawyers, are led by Drayton Sawyer (Jim Siedow) who promotes the family’s swine meat business across the state driving his winnebago while sons Bubba ‘Leatherface’ (Bill Johnson) and Chop-Top (Bill Moseley) man their cavernous underground bunker home hidden under an abandoned amusement park.

When two drunken frat boys driving their way to a college football game decide to call in to the local radio show to mess with DJ “Stretch” (Caroline Williams) during her overnight show, the Sawyer boys saddle up to them on the road for a little deadly fun. The ensuing carnage is all caught on tape in the studio and Stretch begins to investigate. Her path soon crosses that of Lieutenant “Lefty” Enright (Dennis Hopper) who has been on the Sawyer trail since the disappearance of his nephew, the wheelchair bound boy in the first movie.

At Lefty’s urging Stretch plays the explicit audio tape on-air which brings Leatherface and Chop-Top to the station where they kidnap her and her engineer L.G. (Lou Perryman) and bring them to their hangout. It is up to Enright to come and save the day as the Sawyer hold a family feast with Stretch as the guest of honour.

The comedic elements include Leatherface being taunted for having a girlfriend when he becomes reluctant to do the family’s bidding and when ‘grandpa’ who can barely move is awarded the privilege of dealing the death blow to Stretch. When Enright arrives it becomes one giant multi-chainsaw battle of wits and twits (siding more on the latter) with labyrinthine chases within the hodge podge architecture of the abode. Part of the charm in this film also lies in the elaborately decorated sets, the feature being the Sawyer ‘home’ and it’s many tunnels, funnels and garbage strewn decor. The makeup and special effects are also particularly impressive under the hands of master Tom Savini.

Don’t get me wrong this is a fan favorite for many and taken on it’s own it is a fun movie. But fun is the key word and those who watch it expecting the gruesome horror of the original will be disappointed.


Movie Reviews 329 – Full Metal Yakuza (1997)

January 19, 2018

As a huge fan of director Takashi Miike, I know that his output can be uneven and that his topics and are as varied as his targeted audiences.  But I felt confident that with a title of Full Metal Yakuza (original title Full Metal Gokudô) that this would be one of his films that are more up my alley than Yatterman for example which was his take on his favorite Japanese kid show growing up. Better known for his explicit horror films like Audition and his violent gang films like Ichi the Killer the title suggested more of an over-the-top blend of the two.

The film features Kensuke Hagane (Tsuyoshi Ujiki), a menial wannabe mobster who starts at the bottom of his adopted Yakuza family, literally washing floors at clan leader Tosa’s (Takeshi Caesar) headquarters. He slowly makes his way up the ladder only to fail miserably with his first tangible assignment as a ‘protection’ collector and then ends back to washing duties. But Kensuke’s humiliation does not end there as his fighting skills fail him when confronted by a gang of youths who beat him to a pulp as well as being constantly derided by his girlfriend for his lackluster lovemaking skills. He does have something close to a friend in his partner when he is on guard duty, but even he tends to mock Kensuke at every opportunity.

After his boss Tosa is incarcerated for a number years for having attacked a group of rivals in broad daylight, Kensuke and he are ambushed on Tosa’s first day of freedom when summoned to a supposed yakuza meeting. Tosa is killed and Kensuke is riddled with bullets and clearly must die due to his injuries. Instead he awakens in a ramshackle lab with his head wired and without any apparent torso. His remains and that of Tosa were stolen by a crazed scientist (Tomorô Taguchi) who salvaged parts of both bodies and then added improved cybernetic elements. The new and improved Kensuke is now a powerful metallic monstrosity.

As Kensuke slowly discovers the powers of his new and improved body – which incidentally includes Tosa’s heart – he goes on to avenge some of his previous exploiters. But soon afterwards he begins to draw into himself, question his life and future, and eventually seeks solitude at a beach. There he meets Tosa’s former girlfriend Yukari (Shoko Nakahara), herself grieving over the loss of her lover. And when Yukari is kidnapped by the rival gang, Kensuke’s rescue is like a high octane homage to Tosa’s battle years ago.

Miike, well known for his egregious use of billowing fountains of squirting blood (later appropriated by Quentin Tarantino in Kill Bill) makes good use of this staple here. But this is far from Miike’s best films, while at the same time well rounded providing action, gore, comedy and even a love triangle of sorts. While the special effects are sometimes laughable – particularly in the case of the cybernetic costume – others aren’t as flimsy or dated. It is however more a comedy in many respects but risqué at times such as the when Kensuke inherits Tosu’s apparently bountiful manhood (sadly pixelated on my DVD).

While this is a must see for Miike fans, it may only be a fun curiosity for those who enjoy these Asian mind blowing action movies. Hitting so many notes as it does, you’re bound to enjoy something.