Posts Tagged ‘Bikini Samurai Squad’

Movie Reviews 305 – Onechambara: Bikini Samurai Squad (2008)

July 8, 2017

The problem with making movies based on video games is that the games have to have a fairly deep and layered story to begin with if anything of relevance is to be culled from the source, which of course is not usually the case.  If you are going to attempt to make a film based on a “hack and slash” video game, as is was the case with Onechambara here, the only hope is that the writer stretched their imagination way beyond the gameplay to deliver a cohesive well plotted and most importantly, interesting story.

While the movie does make an effort to have at least a semblance of a plot, this is as threadbare and predictable as they come. For the most part I felt like I was watching a game as much as I was watching a movie. That said, as one would expect there are some interesting visuals and I’m not only referring to “Bikini Samurai Squad” subtitle.

Set in the year 20XX (That’s not a typo or me just forgetting the exact year, that’s exactly how they define the time period in the intro text), the postapocalyptic world is overrun by zombies that were unleashed by a rogue scientist from the D3 corporation – D3 being the name of the company that created the original game of course. Our bikini wearing, katana wielding heroine is Aya who glumly roams the land accompanied by her chubby sidekick Katsuji. She’s on a mission to avenge the death of her father at the hands of her own sister while Katsuji hopes to find his own little sister Saki who he abandoned long ago. Along their journey they meet leather clad, motorcycle mama Reiko, intent finding the scientist responsible for the zombie mess.

The backstory of how Aya’s sister was jealous of her fighting abilities since they were toddlers is played out as the trio battle one zombie horde after another until they find the evil Dr. Sugita who is still madly churning out the walkers with now with Aya’s sister at his side.

The CG effects when not outright laughable are annoying, with blood spurts that break the 4th wall between the set and the viewing audience as droplets on the screen. I was tired of this the second time they used the effect and just plain indignant as it continued well into the film. Aya is as short on words as she is in fighting prowess. As many martial arts movies as I’ve watched, there is usually at least one or two attempts at a novel fighting move but you will find all of these here repetitive and even boring. The finale battle introduces a facsimile of chain whip brandishing Gogo Yubari from Tarantino’s Kill Bill that is somehow supposed to entertain us when she is neither original nor combat worthy like Gogo. And before anyone points out that Tarantino himself based Gogo on a character in Battle Royale the difference is that he gave depth to Gogo and kick ass fight moves and did not just blatantly create a carbon copy image.

A pointless cash grab aimed at the enthusiasts of the video game, this has nothing to offer to those ignorant of the game, and probably stung worse for those fans who wanted to see a live action version of their dear franchise.

When it comes to this film I want my quarter back and I was never happier to see the “Game Over” ending.