Movie Reviews 259 – Bitch Slap (2009)

Bitch SlapThis movie was recommended to me by a friend following my review of Sucker Punch, a similar movie featuring a group of girls teaming together in a surreal world. While Bitch Slap presents itself as a ‘real world’ movie, it’s over the top action, characters and situations border on a fantasy world, at least on a male hormonal level if you get my drift.

It’s hard to say that Bitch Slap is solidly grounded in reality for many reasons starting with the improbability of three of the most stunningly, drop-dead gorgeous women, each contrasting in character, could possibly find themselves banded together. The arcane opening scene presents our girls in a remote near desert setting on some sort of common mission. The ambiguity of that mission is slowly pieced together as the movie goes back chronologically in time from scene to scene, each time answering one question posed by the last scene, only to pose another that requires yet another flashback. The pieces slowly fall into place until we understand the whole picture.

Our three vixens are the redhead leader Hel (Erin Cummings) commanding the boisterous Camero (America Olivo) and the fragile glamour girl Trixie (Julia Voth). They seem to be on the run and are looking for something, but that is all we know. Trying to figure out their next move standing by their car in the desolate landscape with only an abandoned gas station within sight, they pop the trunk to try to get answers from an agitated prisoner (Michael Hurst).  His tortured testimony begins the flashback voyage (with intermittent returns to the desert present) which brings us to dance halls, strip joints, gangster lairs, street parties/brawls, and at least one gratuitous wet T-Shirt contest. The varied characters we meet along the way include a lusting Deputy Fuchs (with the obvious name jokes), the deadly duo of Hot Wire and his sidekick (literally) Kinki the Japanese Harajuku girl, and nuns (!) to name just a few.

While Camaro ingests pills becoming ever more agitated as the movie progresses, the girls relive past events throwing their hair back and modeling a string of ensembles that would be apropos of any cat walk fashion list. The flashback sequences not only reveal the past interactions of all the characters to piece the story together, but also brings to light how each of the girls have their own hidden agendas and even past interactions amongst themselves. The flashback scenes make continual reference to another mysterious big wig named Pinky who is never seen, but embodying all the girls greatest fears.

The triumvirate of girls provide a parallel triad of an endless stream of action, violence and titillation. Despite the R rating the sexuality, while extremely hot with a touch of some lesbian steam (not just from the hot summer sun beating down on them), stops short of vulgar nudity. And just as we near the end and think we have it all figured out, the story throws in one final not so surprising twist.

If all of the above wasn’t enough to convince you to watch this movie I doubt adding the fact that there are cameos from Kevin Sorbo, Lucy Lawless, and Zoë Bell (who also assisted with the stunt choreography) will change your mind. Then again, if you haven’t been hooked yet then this movie is probably not for you. I find measly 4.5 IMDB rating is criminally uncalled-for and misleading and those giving it such a low rating probably warrant a bitch slapping of their own. Sure it’s all fluff, but also a lot fun.

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