Movie Reviews 244 – Frozen (2010)

FrozenAlright kid. You probably googled “Frozen” hoping to find a website with pictures and information on the cute Disney animation movie with a goofy snowman and a princess and a soundtrack that’s driving your parents nuts. If that’s the case you better leave right now because this review of Frozen is about a different movie and if you continue reading you’ll poop in your pants, and once your parents see what you’re reading on the internet they’ll take away your Playstation for a year. Now scram!

Whew. Now that we’ve gotten rid of the rugrats, we can dwell on my kind of movie review. This Frozen is brought to you by Adam Green, the same man who brought us the Hatchet movie franchise which should give you a better idea of what’s in store.

Best buds Dan and Joe (Kevin Zegers and Shawn Ashmore, not to be confused with twin brother Aaron Ashmore of Smallville) are hitting the slopes for one of their annual manly bonding trips but this time Dan’s girlfriend Parker (Emma Bell) has tagged along garnering a bit of friction between the boys.

When they pester the ski lift operator to let them go for one last run as it is closing, a sequence of missteps and coincidental events leaves them stranded up in the air, mid way to the top. As the sole occupants on the lift with nightfall approaching and with the resort closing for an entire week, they quickly submit to the situation at hand. They either have to figure out a way to get down, or die trying.

From that point on the luckless trio are subject to every manner of indignity and bad luck imaginable. I’ll let your mind conjure some of the more obvious perils they end up facing, but I’ll tell you now you’ll only be scratching the surface. It gets bloody and gory and absolutely delightful if you’re just sitting at home nice, warm and cozy as you watch them freeze and contemplate their next move.

The success in the movie is how it drives that fine line of throwing a succession of harrowing dangers while not stepping too far beyond a boundary to make them ridiculous and improbable. Sure, having them all thrown is in itself improbable, and there was one “Come on!” moment, but overall it was within the realm of possibility, if barely.

The entire cast proved excellent, with well developed characters and dialogue to match. Also watch for Hatchet slasher Kane Hodder as the lift operator with an attitude.

I’ve never been a skier but the one time I did go I recall freezing my ass on that lift, slowly climbing the mountain face as the winds picked up, asking myself “What am I doing here?”. Perhaps our friends should have done the same.

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