Movie Reviews 148 – 2-Headed Shark Attack (2012)

2 Headed Shark AttackThe lead role of the titular Two Headed shark ain’t the only ‘dual protrusions’ in this movie. It’s not even the only TITular character given the fact that it stars Carmen Electra and a bevy of bikini clad women, if you know what I mean.

I don’t know what is more shameful. Admitting that I watched a movie titled 2-Headed Shark Attack or admitting I watched a movie whose main star was Ms. Electra. The fact that this movie was guilty on both accounts surely means that I will end up in some B-movie hell someday for watching this movie from our friends at The Asylum, the same people who brought you such fun gigantic fare as Mega Shark VS Giant Octopus and Mega Piranha. I have yet to get my hands on a copy of Sharknado, but really … that’s just a matter of time.

Rather than slowly building up the suspense like the granddaddy of all shark movies Jaws, the two headed shark makes his appearance mere seconds as the opening features two bikini babes water skiing side by side. Put that fact together with the title of the movie and even Charlie the Tuna could figure out what happens next.

As one can imagine the plot is simple and lame brained but viewers should long ago have realized they were not watching the next Citizen Kane here. A class of young adults are on a fishing trip (only in a movie like this can a fishing trip be considered an educational activity) when their boat conks out. Luckily they are not that far from a remote island.

Kids start getting chomped on, and for some even stranger reason, it seems that the entire  island is sinking…. quickly. Part of the rescue squad includes the teacher (Charlie O’Connell)  who not only has to deal with the shark and the sinking Island, but some pretty selfish kids as well.

While many of the goofy FX are CGI, the producers at least had the sense to get not one but two giant shark head props. I was kind of worried they’d skimp out and just use one head prop and the go back and forth in scenes where both heads are chomping on something, usually humans.

Anyhow it’s all good fun as long as your cerebral capacity is lowered to the level of the brains in the star. And by that I meant you have to be as dull witted as Carmen Electra, not the two headed shark who is at least twice as intelligent as Carmen.

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