Movie Reviews 39 – Quad Horror DVD

This is a review of yet another one of those 4 movies on a single DVD that you find in the cheapie bins. (official tittle: 4 films horror collector`s set). Note that I’ve seen variant of this DVD where “Bloody Mary” is replaced with another movie. I’d like to think that the change was made after they read my review.

Wages of Sin (2006)
Silly movie about a girl inheriting a house and bringing her boyfriend and another couple for a ‘vacation’ to visit it. The incredulity begins way before she utters “I can’t believe I own this whole thing” standing in front of a decrepit, run down shack of a one bedroom house. But before getting there they endure the requisite warnings from the local hillbilly townsfolk and encounter the cliché ghostly image of a girl on a swing. The almost passable acting (well from 3 out of 4 in the cast anyway) is more than encumbered by a terrible script. There is a bit of mystery developed as we begin to learn a bit of the girls past, but the terrible handling of the suspense just makes the movie all the more unbearable to sit through until the end. I’m surprised I even made it. The biggest kudos goes to whoever found that old shack of a `house`used for the premise. One look at it and it just screams out “Lets make a horror movie around this!“ Unfortunately, someone decided to do just that and messed it up badly. Perfect waste of run down house.

Mortuary (2005)
This is a Tobe (Texas Chainsaw Massacre) Hooper movie in which we find a single parent (ST:TNG alumnus Denise Crosby) moving her two kids into a dilapidated shack of a house that features a basement mortuary that she plans to run as a business. Oh, and the front yard is a cemetery including a family crypt. The house is not something that anyone would consider livable as it is not only falling apart but is filled with streaming mold that aside from attacking living matter would be unsafe even if it was plain old mold. Her young son finds a job at a local diner and after befriending another girl working there, he hears about the Legend of Bobby Fowler, a deformed kid who supposedly took revenge on his torturous parents back in day. Anyhow, the infesting mold is somehow tied up with the Fowler kid, who we find out has taken residence in and under the crypt. Whenever the mold gets hold of a person, they become zombie-like killers. While the film does suffer from a lot of logic lapses and unrealistic scenarios (the unlivable house being one of them), there is a bit of an interesting story here and above par acting from most of the characters. It almost doesn’t deserve to be lumped in with the regular fare of “cheap bin” DVDs, much less a cheap bin DVD with 4 movies for a few bucks. Definitely the winner on this quad DVD.

Memory (2006)
With names like Dennis Hopper, Billy Zane and Ann Margret starring in this thriller I figured it would be the best movie on this quartet DVD. I was even more excited when the opening credits listed Tricia (Galactica) Helfer as an added enticement. But the question of why was this supposedly ‘good’ movie was even on a bargain basement multi-movie DVD at all was answered early on. As implied by the title, the movie is all about memories and dreams that a man (Zane) is experiencing with amazing clarity. But some of the stuff he is dreaming about turns out to be real life events from 30 years past. He discovers that they include locations he and his family visited and, worst of all, include disturbing images of abducted young girls. While there is an evident mystery that slowly plays itself out, there are lot of cockamamie side stories that we have to sit through with plenty of obvious connections that will be made later on. Not a total waste of a movie but still a waste of a lot of good talent as some fine tuning could have made this a much better movie. Hopefully it will fade from my Memory.

Bloody Mary (2006)
A bunch of nurses working at an insane asylum summon the spirit of a murdered former patient there, namely the titular “Bloody Mary”. The girls have to undergo some sort of ritual and the latest inductee to the cult gets snatched by Bloody Mary herself. The cops are called and snoop around while the cult girls sneak around and every now and then evil strikes. Way too much exposition and a lot of fuzzy aspects. It seems the legend of “Bloody Mary” is a common one, but to be honest I’ve never heard it before. You stand in front of a mirror and say “Bloody Mary” three times and thus raise her evil spirit. In my case, cracking open the DVD case, putting the DVD into the player, and then hitting “Play” was enough to summon up the demon of bad movies. Unfortunately the only way to end the torment for me way to watch the film until the very end. Bloody Hell was more like it.


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